A Moment's Solace
by Lonyn
Summary: Ohahn Cousland wars with herself on whether or not to say goodbye to her King, Alistair Theirin, before he leaves for Redcliffe and she leaves on her own journey. Little bit of angst, and some light swearing.


Ohahn finished strapping on her armor to her legs, silent and slow as ever, making sure each clasp, each buckle was settled into the right spot. It was a calming ritual in a way; she'd always been good at going to battle. She wasn't sure what to expect on this journey but she'd expect the worst as always.

She had separated herself from Alistair today. She was hesitant on if she wanted to say goodbye or leave like she usually did. She was awful at goodbyes, evident by all her previous actions. This time was different though… She knew she absolutely had to go, but not having him at her side… A pain tugged at her heart and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

She pulled the somewhat cloak over her shoulders, adjusting the greaves on her right shoulder so it tucked underneath, then wrapped her hair into a low bun. Her broad sword lay on the table and she ran her hand over its smooth surface. It was a beautiful sword, one that Fergus had found in their father's vault when he took back the castle. He'd given it to her, and she cherished this piece of weaponry ever since. The one she'd stuck into the archdemon's heart had shattered into pieces.

She looked over her shoulder hearing the clacks of feet down the hallway, soft laughter, and the happiness of others out there. She didn't know why she did this to herself, why she couldn't let herself be truly happy. She loved Alistair, so much, but because she loved him she wanted him to not have to go through the calling. It plagued her every day… She'd spent the last ten years ignoring the slight song in her mind, hoping the meditation the wardens from Weisshaupt had helped her with would clear it from her head. They said her case was unique… Since no Grey Warden had ever survived slaying an archdemon they had no idea how to help her.

But now… With things going to shit in Ferelden and Orlais, the song had become louder, and she'd catch Alistair staring out to nothing every once in a while, but she knew. He refused to admit it, but she knew. She placed her sword into its bindings on the table, the straps set into place but were also easy enough to pop out when she pulled it from her back during a fight. She picked it up and latched its other bindings around her chest pulling it tight.

Putting her hood over her head she made her way out the door and out into the courtyard that would lead her to the gate. She stood in the shadows off to the side letting the wind softly breeze by her, blowing some of her hair that had loosed itself from its confines; and there he was. He was dressed in a simple Ferelden garb, leaving out his heavy armor for something easier to move in, yet finely crafted to help stave off light attacks. The furs at his neck rustled in the wind and he looked saddened. He knew her, he knew her so well, and he'd expected her to leave first without telling him goodbye on his journey to Redcliffe.

However, she couldn't leave him this time without a goodbye. She'd done that to him far too many times and it broke her heart thinking about how she'd left him. A little part of him was always still saddened even though she'd come back. The hurt and betrayal he felt…

She began to make her way up behind him and with a swift motion she wrapped her arms over his shoulders from behind and placed her lips to the corner of his mouth. His arm immediately came up to cup her head and he closed his eyes breathing her in. She stayed like that, pressing her forehead to his temple, letting her other hand that had cupped his face fall down to settle on her forearm as he brought his hand to lace through her fingers of her other hand on his chest.

"I love you." She spoke softly, and the small smile on his lips grew more. She didn't say it often enough so when she did she knew it meant a lot and that little smile made her heart flutter.

"Can't you just come with me?" He pleaded softly.

It took her a moment but she finally replied, "I can't."

"You never can," he sighed with a sadness spreading from his bones.

"I have to do this."

"If you'd just tell me what 'this' is I'd feel a lot more comfortable with this situation." When she was silent and only pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth once more he moved around and wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her lips fully.

She would miss this. Oh, Maker, would she miss this.


End file.
